We often hear that feedback is very important, don’t we? We have two major words in that quote: “feedback” and “important”. Let’s start with the first one:
A receiver of the feedback perceives it as an energy transfer which can be positive or negative. In spite of the negative energy which feedback might contain, it gives us the energy to develop ourselves.
What is NOT feedback:
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- Commenting without commitment: someone who neither participates nor contributes is definitely not authorized to share opinions and claim them credible;
- Biased opinions based not on objective reasoning but own strong beliefs (“Just Because”) and personal experience.
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Why is feedback important?
For me it gives benefits for both sides. Initially negative feedback points out a room for improvement, whereas when feedback turns positive that’s extremely motivating! In my case a few good words about my work always make a huge difference.
Advantages of giving feedback:
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- Motivating;
- Showing a perspective of people we interact with;
- Giving a space to develop ourselves and our relations.
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Of course these advantages are in place when feedback is said in a good way. How to give good feedback? I will focus on it in the next article. Stay curious!
I am aware of the benefits of giving feedback but still it’s hard for me to give it. Why? I think that it depends on the situation and the personalities involved. However, the major reasons can be:
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- The fear of reaction.
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It is normal to care about relationships. However, not saying our opinion does not protect us against judgments and lack of acceptance. So, we have nothing to lose.
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- The necessity of preparation.
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In order to give good feedback we need to prepare for it. No preparation – no goal achieved, or, even worse, the wrong goal achieved. If you prepare too much and too long the context might change and feedback won’t be needed any more.
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- Lots of requirements to fulfil in order to give good feedback.
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Preparation needs time and commitment. If giving feedback is not your prioritate this factors will probably make it hard to give.
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- Thinking that words you are going to say are obvious, shallow and primitive.
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The internal critic does not let us appreciate our own little insights;
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- Feeling vulnerable while referring to your own experience.
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However, this is the only way to be perceived as honest people. If you are not open while giving feedback, why should people trust you?
When I’m looking at this list I can say that most of the points make giving feedback hard for me. Especially the point about fear – it makes me depreciate my positive thoughts about others quite often. And what about You?